Wedding Shower Etiquette
My best friend`s son and his fiancee were married in Las Vegas last month. The immediate family and only a few friends were present. They were planning a wedding reception in November. I intended to host a wedding shower in mid-October. The invitations are out and on 9/28 the bride called me and informed me that they could not afford to have a reception and were calling it off. What should I do? Call everyone and tell them the shower is off? Have the shower? Please help.
Don`t have a clue
Posted by Tina; updated 09/29/04
Reply
Wow, what a position you are in. You`re not really supposed to have a shower if there is no wedding for people to be invited to. Some may disagree, but I have never heard of it being ok to do. Because of the fact that the idea behind the shower is to shower the bride/couple with gifts, it`s rude to expect gifts from those who were not important enough to be on the invite list for the wedding.
What about this. Talk to your best friend and see what is going on. Is the couple planning on paying for it all themselves and that is why they can`t afford to have a reception? What about combining the shower and reception together. You can always send out new invites letting those already invited know about the change in plans.
It could be a very, very small reception at home or church, with everyone bringing a potluck dish to share or have a light luncheon/late breakfast affair. You could serve pastries, light appetizers, salad and fruit along with cake. As well as coffee, tea, and maybe mimosas, add some OJ to the cheap champagne and no one will know the difference at all. With combined funds from both sets of parents and the couple it should be affordable.
Posted by Finally Hitched; updated 09/29/04
