Marriage?
My boyfriend of a year and a half and I love each other very much. We`ve been through a lot, including depression, my parents not liking him, and people trying to ruin our relationship. I have no doubt that I want to marry this man; we communicate well on every level. Yesterday, he brought up the idea of getting married soon... Very soon... In the next year. However, we are both still in school... And not at the same school either. In many ways, I feel that we should not get married until we are more establised.. I.e., have grauated college. On the other hand, I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him... So why not make the committment now?
Posted by Christy; updated 09/23/04
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Thank you so much, Mika. I am almost positive that I will wait a few more years.
The problem with talking with my mother however... Well, we have never been all that close. She is very condescending (even to my father), besides always always wanting to please everyone else. The latter has led her into a mental breakdown. She was only in the hospital a few days, but she should have stayed longer. I`m not sure if she`ll ever be right again, as the same thing happened to her mother and grandmother and they were never the same again. Really, she is a factor in my holding off getting married... I don`t want her to go even deeper into depression.. Because she regretted getting married as young as she did. Granted, she was 25, but she was not in love with my father, and got pregnant right away, which she was not ready for.
No man is good enough for my father`s daughters. I am not sure if he`ll accept my boyfriend as my fiance, even years from now. SO, in many ways, I am torn... At any point in my life. I am in love; my mother was not. How will she undertsand the difference this will make? And how can my father understand that the love I have for my boyfriend is not comparable to the "love" he had in high school for a girl he dated one time? My parents never has much dating experience; even at my young age, I know for a fact that I have had more experience with the opposite sex than they had before they got married. I just feel that my relationship with my boyfriend is so much different than theirs was. My views are so different; my mother is a devout Luthern (her father was a pastor and her mother worked for the church). My father converted for her. My mother does not believe in any public displays of affection(no doubt due to the fact that she didn;t really love my father when she married him, and is just falling in love with him now). I am very physical with my boyfriend, and a Buddhist.
I can talk to my father, but he is very overprotective. I am hoping that some day my boyfriend can prove himself to my father, but that may not happen.
Posted by Christy; updated 09/24/04
