Eloping

U`re a legal major, so u are not legally obliged to do as they say. They r using emotional blackmail which is unfair. U dont want to please them now and resent them later as this could cause a family rift. At the risk of sounding selfish, I`d say to put ur self first and elope. However u can compromise and have a marriage blessing later with all the fanfare u parents want.

Oh, one more thing, if THEY want in big, then THEY should pay for it. Asking u to pay for something u dont want is not very nice.

If you are Eloping --why did you tell everyone!! You should have just done it!! Now there is trouble!!! I wonder why??

Without being negative I will say it like this. JUST GO AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO! I am 23 years old and if I were smart I would have went to Vegas. The work of planning a wedding is so stressful already and if it`s not something you want it will be like pulling teeth. I do understand you wanting to please your parents but don`t forget to think of yourself. Cause even if your not going all out it is still your day. ENJOY!!!!!

I feel so bad for you.. My parents were bugging me to avoid the hassles & run off (of course take them along) and get married then come back & have a huge reception... I think this is a good idea.. Now that i am planning a wedding.. Parts of me think of just going somewhere & getting married then coming home & celebrating with friends..

If your parents don`t agree with your feelings.. That is their loss.. Go get married as you wish.. It is your day!!!!! consider the reception when you come home & celebrate with everyone.. But especially if they are not footing the wedding bill.. They should have no say on your day!!!!

Good luck.. Let us know how it turns out!

Tell your parents that whoever pays the bills gets to decide. Since you are paying, it is up to you, which makes it very simple.

Having said that, think long & hard before you decide to elope and not have a wedding. I never had the white gown, veil and everything else because my parents wouldn`t pay and I couldn`t afford anything--I wore a $12 dress I made myself because I couldn`t afford to buy one, and we had homemade Thanksgiving dinner that I cooked, and then cleaned up after. I`ve always regretted not having had a "real" wedding--not necessarily a six-figure extravaganza, but at least walking down the aisle with my father, bridesmaids, and the works. I`m getting ready to remarry 35 years later and it would be ridiculous to do the fancy thing at this point, but I wish I could.

You probably only have one chance to dress up like that and have all the neat things (and stress) that come with a formal wedding. It might be worth it doing a very small, scaled-down thing to avoid the stress, keep costs down, but give yourself that moment in the sun.