Wedding & "Adult Reception" Invitat
My wife recevied an invitation from one of my wife`s nieces, today. The envelope was addressed to my wife as "Miss" and did not name me, because I am personna non grata, due to a long-standing grudge over something that is none of anyone else`s business.
The young, single mother is marrying for the first time, but she is not marrying the father of her daughter. However, the young lady`s mother made it public that her daughterfirst had an abortion and then an illegitimate child by the boy next door, an apparently decent, All American football player from the same high school, and of her same race. My wife`s brother-in-law did not insist on the traditional, if not a shotgun wedding per Exodus 22:16. Apparently, she did not want to marry the young man, preferring to illegitimize her daughter forever.
So, now, the niece has found a more financially, if not any more morally solvent, young man and the couple have bought a house together and moved in together. My wife`s sister and her husband bought a house in their neighborhood and apparently condone this shacking-up together in front of their illegitimate granddaughter. And now the "couple" has decided to marry and has sent out invitations.
In addition to the wedding and reception invitations, the envelope contains three separate announcments for bridal registries. One says, "If you really want to know what the couple really, really wants..." and refers the invitee to Crate & Barrel`s bridal registry. Another is from Robinson`s-May Company and solicits similarly. The third is on the back of the Robinson`s-May invitation and includes a toll-free number and web address for an apparently identical listing at a dozen or so sister stores. My wife regards this as industrial-strength tacky and can`t believe she came out of the same family.
My wife and I are in our 50`s and bemoan the general loss of common courtesy-- particularly on the freeways, not to mention the lack of common sense, in contemporary American culture. We live in Southern California and dressing for any occasion from church to dinner in all but the finest restaurants is uncommon. We believe that etiquette is stone cold dead. Manners, protocol, etcetera, it seems to us, liberates us from having to pay needless attention to trivial matters when almost anyting is a more pressing concern.
Would you and your readership please compose a few remarks concerning your judgment of the propriety of this bald faced solicitation of gifts and my wife`s niece taking apparent statement concerning my wife`s and my relationship?
Jim
The young, single mother is marrying for the first time, but she is not marrying the father of her daughter. However, the young lady`s mother made it public that her daughterfirst had an abortion and then an illegitimate child by the boy next door, an apparently decent, All American football player from the same high school, and of her same race. My wife`s brother-in-law did not insist on the traditional, if not a shotgun wedding per Exodus 22:16. Apparently, she did not want to marry the young man, preferring to illegitimize her daughter forever.
So, now, the niece has found a more financially, if not any more morally solvent, young man and the couple have bought a house together and moved in together. My wife`s sister and her husband bought a house in their neighborhood and apparently condone this shacking-up together in front of their illegitimate granddaughter. And now the "couple" has decided to marry and has sent out invitations.
In addition to the wedding and reception invitations, the envelope contains three separate announcments for bridal registries. One says, "If you really want to know what the couple really, really wants..." and refers the invitee to Crate & Barrel`s bridal registry. Another is from Robinson`s-May Company and solicits similarly. The third is on the back of the Robinson`s-May invitation and includes a toll-free number and web address for an apparently identical listing at a dozen or so sister stores. My wife regards this as industrial-strength tacky and can`t believe she came out of the same family.
My wife and I are in our 50`s and bemoan the general loss of common courtesy-- particularly on the freeways, not to mention the lack of common sense, in contemporary American culture. We live in Southern California and dressing for any occasion from church to dinner in all but the finest restaurants is uncommon. We believe that etiquette is stone cold dead. Manners, protocol, etcetera, it seems to us, liberates us from having to pay needless attention to trivial matters when almost anyting is a more pressing concern.
Would you and your readership please compose a few remarks concerning your judgment of the propriety of this bald faced solicitation of gifts and my wife`s niece taking apparent statement concerning my wife`s and my relationship?
Jim
Posted by Jim; updated 09/03/04
Reply
Well, Jim, that certainly is an eyeful.
While I completely agree that common courtesy and simple manners have fallen by the wayside over the course of a generation or two, and that enclosing any sort of "gift solicitation" in wedding invites is in poor taste as well, you are certainly one to judge. First of all, you state that you are a person non-grata for reasons that aren`t "anyone else`s business," but then demonstrate total lack of class for announcing a play-by-play account your estranged niece`s adult life--not to mention how judgemental you are of the decisions she has made. Right or wrong in your eyes, her life is her business, and not ours.
You wanted comments on the "gift solicitation." What you are going to get, should anyone else care to respond to your post, is a barrage of insults and outcries from the women who are on this board who have had children out of wedlock, abortions, who are single mothers, co-habitators, etc. And, excuse me, you view your grand-neice/nephew as illegitimate? Watch out, Jim, you`ve opened up a can of worms with your judgemental comments.
Since you`ve made the rest of the details of your nieces life our business, why don`t you go ahead and tell us why you are estranged from her.
While I, too, am saddened by the lack of etiquette apparent not only in brides-to-be but in everyday life, values are not the same as they were 30 years ago, when you were my age. One thing remains the same though. Judging people (not to mention disclosing their personal details to complete strangers) is NEVER in good taste.
While I completely agree that common courtesy and simple manners have fallen by the wayside over the course of a generation or two, and that enclosing any sort of "gift solicitation" in wedding invites is in poor taste as well, you are certainly one to judge. First of all, you state that you are a person non-grata for reasons that aren`t "anyone else`s business," but then demonstrate total lack of class for announcing a play-by-play account your estranged niece`s adult life--not to mention how judgemental you are of the decisions she has made. Right or wrong in your eyes, her life is her business, and not ours.
You wanted comments on the "gift solicitation." What you are going to get, should anyone else care to respond to your post, is a barrage of insults and outcries from the women who are on this board who have had children out of wedlock, abortions, who are single mothers, co-habitators, etc. And, excuse me, you view your grand-neice/nephew as illegitimate? Watch out, Jim, you`ve opened up a can of worms with your judgemental comments.
Since you`ve made the rest of the details of your nieces life our business, why don`t you go ahead and tell us why you are estranged from her.
While I, too, am saddened by the lack of etiquette apparent not only in brides-to-be but in everyday life, values are not the same as they were 30 years ago, when you were my age. One thing remains the same though. Judging people (not to mention disclosing their personal details to complete strangers) is NEVER in good taste.
Posted by Ann; updated 09/04/04
Reply
I agree that asking for gifts and registering all over the place and including that information in a wedding invitation is tacky, but Jimbo, that`s where my agreement with you ends.
If this decent, all-American football player "of her same race" is so morally solvent, why did he have sex with your niece before they were married? Not that I consider pre-marital sex to be a mortal sin, but you obviously do, since you have such an issue with this niece and her fiance living together. Sorry, but I don`t think that having a child together is necessarily a good reason to get married, ESPECIALLY if the couple in question are still in high school. If she had married the father of her baby back then, I could almost guarantee you that they would be divorced by now, or still married but very unhappy.
And since you`re obviously big on the Bible, isn`t there a verse about judgment being reserved for God alone, or thou shalt not judge, or something along those lines?
If this decent, all-American football player "of her same race" is so morally solvent, why did he have sex with your niece before they were married? Not that I consider pre-marital sex to be a mortal sin, but you obviously do, since you have such an issue with this niece and her fiance living together. Sorry, but I don`t think that having a child together is necessarily a good reason to get married, ESPECIALLY if the couple in question are still in high school. If she had married the father of her baby back then, I could almost guarantee you that they would be divorced by now, or still married but very unhappy.
And since you`re obviously big on the Bible, isn`t there a verse about judgment being reserved for God alone, or thou shalt not judge, or something along those lines?
Posted by Heidi A.; updated 09/04/04
Reply
I don`t care about out of wedlock children and couples shacking up. I don`t even care that you`ve reported it on an anonymous message board.
For anyone to send a wedding invitation to a married couple, addressing the wife as "Miss" and omitting the husband completely is beyone tacky and insulting.
To solicit gifts in a wedding invitation is also completely unacceptable.
Yes, selfishness and greed have taken over. To justify this type of gauche behavior most people will say "etiquette changes with the times" or "rules of etiquette are not writting in stone". I would love to meet those people in person. I would chew with my mouth open making horrid smacking sounds with my lips, I would pick my nose and flick whatever I pull out onto their freshly cleaned carpet, I would call them at 3 a.m. Just to chitchat even though I knew they had to get up for work at 5 a.m. And the list goes on. I would break every rule of etiquette I can think of. And if anyone should tell me my behavior is unacceptable, I will tell them "But etiquette rules are not written in stone, etiquette is changing all the time, go with the flow!"
Most rules of etiquette are common sense rules about insuring the comfort of others. Pretending the rules have changed doesn`t make it so. Just like saying "thank you" when someone gives you a gift is a rule that will likely always remain, so is not soliciting gifts in your invitiations.
For anyone to send a wedding invitation to a married couple, addressing the wife as "Miss" and omitting the husband completely is beyone tacky and insulting.
To solicit gifts in a wedding invitation is also completely unacceptable.
Yes, selfishness and greed have taken over. To justify this type of gauche behavior most people will say "etiquette changes with the times" or "rules of etiquette are not writting in stone". I would love to meet those people in person. I would chew with my mouth open making horrid smacking sounds with my lips, I would pick my nose and flick whatever I pull out onto their freshly cleaned carpet, I would call them at 3 a.m. Just to chitchat even though I knew they had to get up for work at 5 a.m. And the list goes on. I would break every rule of etiquette I can think of. And if anyone should tell me my behavior is unacceptable, I will tell them "But etiquette rules are not written in stone, etiquette is changing all the time, go with the flow!"
Most rules of etiquette are common sense rules about insuring the comfort of others. Pretending the rules have changed doesn`t make it so. Just like saying "thank you" when someone gives you a gift is a rule that will likely always remain, so is not soliciting gifts in your invitiations.
Posted by Linda; updated 09/04/04
Reply
The verse is "judge not, lest ye be judged". This is what is happening. Jim, you have stated "for something that is no one else`s business" yet you tell all of her business. There can be no respect if you give none. That baby is your family and you continually come short of calling her a bastard. I pray that child never feels your hate. As for etiquette, you are showing none toward family values. As it was best put by Ann, you have opened a can of worms here and the best way to close it is to change your heart. Start first with yourself. As for etiquette not being written in stone, so many people on this board has been ripped to shreds for wanting poems asking for money on invitations. That being said, it is not apart of what her etiquette is. Each person is their own person. Some will not value the things that you do. Opinions is just like butt holes, everyone has one. What one person`s opinion on etiquette is, is not the next persons. Never push your ways on anyone as it only makes enemies. Especially when it is within your family.
Posted by Mika; updated 09/05/04
Reply
Etiquette is not about opinions, etiquette is manners. Either you have manners or you don`t but you don`t go around saying that bad manners are optional or go according to each person`s opinions. I`m reading many times on this message board about brides wanting suggestions on how to politely go about using bad manners at their weddings and then getting upset because people tell them you can`t politely behave badly. You can say all you want that manners aren`t written in stone, all that means to me is that you can`t get arrested for using poor manners. But just because the law will look past your bad manners, don`t expect your friends and family not to be offended. I think Linda is right, I mean you all use etiquette in your every day life and expect others to do so as well but then when it comes to your own weddings suddenly etiquette is to each his own, who cares if it offends or insults.
Posted by mei mei; updated 09/05/04
Reply
Mei Mei and Linda, no one is saying that it is okay to accept that type of behavior. I think Mika put that best. What one person thinks is etiquette is not what another person thinks it is. You cannot make a person accept your way of life or we wouldn`t be individuals. I have read many types of etiquette books and that is fine for me but I can`t force my friends to feel the same way. I think Mika is right in saying that you cannot force your ways on anyone else even if you feel it is bad manners, they obviously don`t. I think it is also bad manners to shred people to pieces when they post something that you do not believe in just because you don`t believe in it. Etiquette states, if you don`t have anything nice to say, DON`T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!!
Posted by Janice; updated 09/05/04
Reply
I didn`t say anything not nice!!
I`m just saying that people adhere to etiquette all the time but it seems to me that when it comes to their weddings they all of a sudden don`t care. Why is manners important to people everyday except on their wedding day?
I`m just saying that people adhere to etiquette all the time but it seems to me that when it comes to their weddings they all of a sudden don`t care. Why is manners important to people everyday except on their wedding day?
Posted by mei mei; updated 09/06/04
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Linda, common sense is not so common and to use bad manners and poor etiquette just because someone else is doing it, is proving how you lack them both. In etiquette it say to a Bride that it is her day but tell her that she can`t do certain things the way that she wants to. You cannot have it both ways. It is just the same as saying this is yours but I want you to do it my way. Ann, Mika and Janice kudos for saying that no matter what, people are going to be what they are as they are individuals. Although I would never put that on or in my invitations I have friends who did but it was not my invitation for me to do anything about it. Funny how people expect people to follow etiquette but say nothing of people following the Bible which is our first set of laws and rules. You can`t change anyone but yourself. You can`t make anyone do things that you will want them to do just because you do it that way because if that is the case, we wouldn`t need so many jails, mental hospitals or divorce lawyers. Just know in your mind that you wouldn`t do that because YOU think it is tacky or bad manners because obviously that person doesn`t think that it is bad manners. When people come on this board, they are looking for advice. They are not looking to be told off, cursed out or called tacky. If you can`t answer to what they are asking, then don`t leave anything. Just because we follow etiquette books doesn`t mean that others is going to do it that way. That is all those ladies are saying.
Posted by Maria; updated 09/06/04
Reply
I read this in the Everything etiquette book and wanted to post it here:
"Etiquette is constantly evolving. What`s considered standard practice today would have been considered shocking 20 years ago and may seem old fashioned in another 20 years. Most of todays wedding etiquette is fairly flexible but there are still some etiquette "absolutes" like writing thank-yous when you receive gifts and not indicating where you`re registered on wedding invitations. But if you skip over a chapter or two, and you do something "wrong" it`s not the end of the world. There`s no etiquette police to arrest you. If you`re unsure of how to handle a particular situation or if you`d like to try something new at your wedding, but are not sure if it`s proper, just use your best judgment. Common sense and good judgment are often the quickest and easiest answers to all your wedding dilemmas. Remember, it`s your wedding so have fun!"
So even they know that people are still going to do things their way.
"Etiquette is constantly evolving. What`s considered standard practice today would have been considered shocking 20 years ago and may seem old fashioned in another 20 years. Most of todays wedding etiquette is fairly flexible but there are still some etiquette "absolutes" like writing thank-yous when you receive gifts and not indicating where you`re registered on wedding invitations. But if you skip over a chapter or two, and you do something "wrong" it`s not the end of the world. There`s no etiquette police to arrest you. If you`re unsure of how to handle a particular situation or if you`d like to try something new at your wedding, but are not sure if it`s proper, just use your best judgment. Common sense and good judgment are often the quickest and easiest answers to all your wedding dilemmas. Remember, it`s your wedding so have fun!"
So even they know that people are still going to do things their way.
Posted by Helen; updated 09/06/04
Reply
"Linda, common sense is not so common and to use bad manners and poor etiquette just because someone else is doing it, is proving how you lack them both."
I`m not using bad manners and poor etiquette just because someone else is doing it. I was using and example to point out how OTHERS are using bad manners and poor etiquette just because others are doing it. I`m sorry you didn`t get it. Well at least one person understood my point (thanks MeiMei).
"In etiquette it say to a Bride that it is her day but tell her that she can`t do certain things the way that she wants to."
"In etiquette" in says that? Please tell me where it says that in etiquette. That`s just plain silly and doesn`t make sense.
I`m not using bad manners and poor etiquette just because someone else is doing it. I was using and example to point out how OTHERS are using bad manners and poor etiquette just because others are doing it. I`m sorry you didn`t get it. Well at least one person understood my point (thanks MeiMei).
"In etiquette it say to a Bride that it is her day but tell her that she can`t do certain things the way that she wants to."
"In etiquette" in says that? Please tell me where it says that in etiquette. That`s just plain silly and doesn`t make sense.
Posted by Linda; updated 09/07/04
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Linda, open up your eyes, it is in Helen`s statement. Don`t put this on an invitation and the very last line, it`s YOUR day have fun. Since it is the Bride`s day, no one can tell her what to do even if it uses poor manners by our standards. Would Jim and his wife had felt so insulted if they were on good terms with the family? It isn`t the Brides` fault if she were not taught the proper way to do things. How can you be angry or upset if a person wants to do things their way? I cannot believe that this young lady even knows etiquette given the background that I read. Just because you know the proper way you just ASSume that others do? As for MeiMei stating that people follow etiquette all their lives up until their wedding day, how can you ASSume that this person knows etiquette? I cannot believe that you can ASSume a person who follows proper etiquette and follows it all of their lives, will stop just on that day. Just as another poster put it, years ago, it was taught but the parents have gotten younger and all of a sudden have this "go with the flow" attitude. Even stated in the etiquette book, etiquette changes but some things don`t. Generations have changed and although in my mind, SOME have not changed for the better, I can only raise my daughter so that she does not become a lost child. Last, I am blessed every day that I was given values from my family, taught etuqiette and manners by my mother and made to feel secure in all that I do to have common sense. I am also glad that I am an individual as these people are and that I don`t judge them and condemn to hell for them not doing things the way that I do them. I surely would not lower myself even in an example but that is just me. I wouldn`t do it. I don`t judge you for doing something that I wouldn`t do. I think that as long as people have a brain of their own, they are going to do what they please no matter if a stranger feels insulted by it.
Posted by Christina; updated 09/07/04
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My question is, if the young lady has no morals, how is it expected for her to have good manners or know and understand proper etiquette? How can you not care that people are shacking up, having babies out of wedlock when it clearly states in the Bible that this is morally wrong but be more upset that she lacks etiquette? I would like to think it all goes hand in hand. A person raised with good morals will know and understand good manners and etiquette. Am I wrong? Linda you say that you don`t care that she is shacking up having babies without being married but get very upset that she puts her gift registry in an invitation. If a human cannot follow God`s instruction, how is it that he/she should be expected to follow man`s instruction? I was brought up that the greatest gift you can give to your husband was your virginity. I was taught the Bible first and then social, dating and wedding etiquette. I thought it all went hand in hand. Maybe I am wrong.
Posted by Colleen; updated 09/07/04
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Christina, if it`s the bride`s day to do as she pleases then she should go off and elope. If she wants to invite friends and family then she has a responsibility to treat them as guests should be treated. And that means there are certain things she should not be doing. Can I stop her? No. But if someone comes here and asks I`m not going to answer that they can do something insulting and stupid just because they happen to be a bride.
Now concerning the particular bride in this discussion, I couldn`t care less about her living in sin or having a baby. I was only commenting on the question that was asked about the decline of good manners in today`s society.
Now concerning the particular bride in this discussion, I couldn`t care less about her living in sin or having a baby. I was only commenting on the question that was asked about the decline of good manners in today`s society.
Posted by Linda; updated 09/07/04
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Again, it is her day so she does not have to elope. She can do as she pleases. What is insulting to you is not insulting to her. Morals & etiquette do go hand in hand. If you lack one, it is likely that you will lack the other. I am closing this conversation as I usually do not talk to brick walls and I won`t start now.
Posted by Christina; updated 09/08/04
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Everyone keeps talking about how rude it is to put registry cards or info in invitations even if they aren`t having a bridal shower.... My question is if they aren`t having a shower how are the guests supposed to know where they are registered?
I was told that registeries were done so that the bride and groom wouldn`t get duplicate gifts and could have matching sets, but I know many people who don`t have showers.... Should those people just ask for receipts so they can return gifts? I think that would be rude.
Should they call everyone personally and just mention that they`re registered at such and such place? I think that would be rude too.
When I receive an invitation with registry info in it I take it as that... Information to help me if I want to use it. I`ve never taken it as begging or demanding. In fact, I`ve never bought from a registry and I`ve still had the same friendly greeting from the bride and thank you notes for coming as the people who did buy off the registry.
I think where many of you are looking at it as rude or greedy, most of the brides aren`t. They just don`t know the "proper ettiquette".
I was told that registeries were done so that the bride and groom wouldn`t get duplicate gifts and could have matching sets, but I know many people who don`t have showers.... Should those people just ask for receipts so they can return gifts? I think that would be rude.
Should they call everyone personally and just mention that they`re registered at such and such place? I think that would be rude too.
When I receive an invitation with registry info in it I take it as that... Information to help me if I want to use it. I`ve never taken it as begging or demanding. In fact, I`ve never bought from a registry and I`ve still had the same friendly greeting from the bride and thank you notes for coming as the people who did buy off the registry.
I think where many of you are looking at it as rude or greedy, most of the brides aren`t. They just don`t know the "proper ettiquette".
Posted by stormy; updated 09/08/04
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Stormy, the bride tells her wedding party and parents where they are registered. (And the groom may do so with his side as well). Then IF guests want to know where the couple is registered they will ask.
Showers are different and may or may not include registry information, depending on what the hostess decides. The reason though that shower invitations may include gift information is because the shower is for gifts. Guests are being invited for the purpose of showering the bride with gifts.
The wedding invitation is something else entirely and it is rude for a bride to be so presumptous as to make mention of gifts. The purpose of a wedding invitation is to invite your guests to share in your day and to express the fact that you will be honored by their attendance, nothing more. Guests will choose by themselves whether or not and what kind of gift to give, and if they need or want registry information they will ask.
To Christina, I`ll try one more time to help you understand that I was not addressing the issue of this man`s or his family`s morals. I chose not to. I was only addressing his question regarding the decay of bridal etiquette. I was giving general etiquette information, not specific moral opinions. And again, brides can do whatever they please, I can`t stop anyone from doing what they want. I`m simply telling you that if someone ASKS here then obviously they are interested in hearing answers to their questions. I`m not going give misinformation to anyone that asks. What they do with that information and how they choose to treat their guests is their prerogative.
Showers are different and may or may not include registry information, depending on what the hostess decides. The reason though that shower invitations may include gift information is because the shower is for gifts. Guests are being invited for the purpose of showering the bride with gifts.
The wedding invitation is something else entirely and it is rude for a bride to be so presumptous as to make mention of gifts. The purpose of a wedding invitation is to invite your guests to share in your day and to express the fact that you will be honored by their attendance, nothing more. Guests will choose by themselves whether or not and what kind of gift to give, and if they need or want registry information they will ask.
To Christina, I`ll try one more time to help you understand that I was not addressing the issue of this man`s or his family`s morals. I chose not to. I was only addressing his question regarding the decay of bridal etiquette. I was giving general etiquette information, not specific moral opinions. And again, brides can do whatever they please, I can`t stop anyone from doing what they want. I`m simply telling you that if someone ASKS here then obviously they are interested in hearing answers to their questions. I`m not going give misinformation to anyone that asks. What they do with that information and how they choose to treat their guests is their prerogative.
Posted by Linda; updated 09/09/04
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Jim,
I dare say if my husband were not invited to a social affair that I was invited to I would send my regrets and not attend. As for the tackiness of all the registries, it seems they may be grasping at straws and shooting for the stars at the same time. It is not tacky to have gift registries but they should NEVER be in the invitation. If someone inquires ,they could be informed verbally but NOT in the invitation. I`d say you have a dilemma..... I`d send a card with a gift certificate for the nearest MIss Manners class on wedding etiquette. Lol
I dare say if my husband were not invited to a social affair that I was invited to I would send my regrets and not attend. As for the tackiness of all the registries, it seems they may be grasping at straws and shooting for the stars at the same time. It is not tacky to have gift registries but they should NEVER be in the invitation. If someone inquires ,they could be informed verbally but NOT in the invitation. I`d say you have a dilemma..... I`d send a card with a gift certificate for the nearest MIss Manners class on wedding etiquette. Lol
Posted by Mary Jo; updated 09/13/04
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My word you are a pretentious person. No wonder so many people are atheists.
It`s none of your business whom she chooses to marry or for what reasons just like it`s no one`s business why you are ousted from your wife`s family. So she made a mistake in highschool, must she be punished for it the rest of her life. Her daughter is finally going to have a decent father. You should be happy for that. It is not for you to judge her based on what you see superficially only God knows her heart. Second maybe you should pray that GOD`S will be done not your own. Just because people are different than you and your wife doesn`t make what they do wrong. Maybe she is insulting to you because you are insulting to her. She loves her aunt and she by no means HAS to like you expecially when you sit there and judge her. So they are having an informal wedding. GET OVER IT. Treat her the way you want her to treat you. Hmm sound familiar. For a christian you don`t present yourself in a very christian matter. And from one christian to another pray for forgiveness and salvation for all. You aren`t God`s appointed Judge.
It`s none of your business whom she chooses to marry or for what reasons just like it`s no one`s business why you are ousted from your wife`s family. So she made a mistake in highschool, must she be punished for it the rest of her life. Her daughter is finally going to have a decent father. You should be happy for that. It is not for you to judge her based on what you see superficially only God knows her heart. Second maybe you should pray that GOD`S will be done not your own. Just because people are different than you and your wife doesn`t make what they do wrong. Maybe she is insulting to you because you are insulting to her. She loves her aunt and she by no means HAS to like you expecially when you sit there and judge her. So they are having an informal wedding. GET OVER IT. Treat her the way you want her to treat you. Hmm sound familiar. For a christian you don`t present yourself in a very christian matter. And from one christian to another pray for forgiveness and salvation for all. You aren`t God`s appointed Judge.
Posted by Heather; updated 10/10/04
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