WEDDING GIFTS

We just got married and did things "the RIGHT" way. Registered at several places including the most convenient online registry possible, registerd for many inexpensive gifts and tried to pursuade our parents to encourage cash gifts...they thought this unthinkably rude.

Nonetheless we ended up with unreturnable and art, enormous bowls marked, "Don`t Use With Food", a martini set, and a basket full of bad wine (we don`t drink and live in 800 square feet).

The one thing I`ve learned from all of this is not to be presumptuous with regards to other people`s taste. Just because you love it doen`t mean someone else will. From now on people will get gift certificates, cash and registry items only from us. If we decide to go creative it will include a gift receipt taped to the back.

I think it should be perfectly acceptable for couples to register for a house downpayment plan or make their wishes clear without being judged.

Yes, it`s rude to ask for that in our world now, but let`s work to change that.

I have learned

The rules are that you can give them what ever you see fit. It means they are presumptious in assuming their "invited guests" are required to bring them gifts and then have the nerve to tell you what to bring. I make it a practice to buy off their registry for the Shower and we always give money for the wedding.
Who can`t use money but NO ONE has the right to suggest you give them money. I have to say though, we have not yet been faced with this. So maybe it is a class thing. I grew up in a middle class suburban neighborhood....not a trailer park.

Jemmy should read the attached article and realize that this bride and groom were not simply assuming they`d get gifts...let`s face it, when invited to a wedding you give a gift...it`s just what happens.

These people were trying to save their friends and families from spending $200 on something that they consider useless, ugly or worse, "middle class". Would you like to unwittingly fall into the category of gift giver with the heart in the right place, but with taste up their....?...well, you know. I know I`d rather be steered in the right direction.


Last updated: July 19 2003

"When it comes to buying wedding gifts, if you go ‘off list’ you’re wasting your money says a survey of the UK’s newlyweds


The wedding list: a chance for the soon-to-be-betrothed to send their relatives and friends round the shops in search of soft furnishings and matching towel sets. But some people simply ignore the list altogether and get the happy couple what they presume they will want.

This is a mistake, according to a survey by the Prudential, which reveals that we spend a staggering £270m on wedding gifts every year. However a lot of that is wasted money, as people buy ‘off list’ presents that are never used or in many cases never even opened.

The Top 10 most unwanted items

The gifts most likely to end up in charity shops or gathering dust in the loft are:


Gift % of votes cast
1. Ornaments – especially animals 28%
2. Brightly coloured and patterned towels 18%
3. Glassware – crystal and over-sized brandy glasses 14%
4. Tea towels 10%
5. Photo-frames – particularly made of pewter 8%
6. Cushions 7%
7. Place mats 6%
8. Comedy/cartoon aprons 4%
9. Mug trees 3%
10. Table linen 2%


The Top 10 suitable gifts

If you are going to buy `off list`, you could do worse than go for one of these gifts:


Gift % of votes cast
1. Champagne 32%
2. Money 24%
3. Fine wine 12%
4. Food hampers 8%
5. Books 7%
6. Games – Backgammon, Scrabble, Monopoly, Twister, etc 5%
7. House plants/flowers 4%
8. Towels – neutral coloured 3%
9. Kitchen knives 3%
10. Garden accessories 2%


So before you buy that otter figurine, think about where it will be in a year`s time."

Maggie,
She complained about $200??? What the hell is wrong with people these days? I would be extremely pleased with a $20 gift card! It is NOT our guests job to provide us with funding for whatever we choose. Getting married these days seems to have morphed into "getting free money and/or stuff." While we all know that gifts ARE typically given at weddings, we should also know that the gifts should be welcomed, whether it be a toaster, or $10.

Upset about $200? I still can`t believe that!!!

Maggie your co-worker is a selfish person. She needs a reality check very soon. I cannot believe that people feel that it is their right to receive a gift of any kind from guests.

Unfortunately this is what this world is coming too.
Everyone thinks someone owes them. Just imagine when these self-centered spoiled brats have kids....sheese I hate to think!