Shower, With A Unhappy Groom To Be

Had something similar happen only with bridesmaids. My sister threw my shower invited my mother in law but not my husband to be sister`s who were my bridesmaids to make matters worse she didn`t ask for them to chip in on my gift either she only asked my sister in law and my best friend my other two bridesmaides that my sister knew. I was mortified and had spent what was to be a happy occasion trying to explain this oversight to make everyone feel better. The truth of the matter was it wasn`t anything malious going on my sister never planned a shower before and didn`t understand that there were rules to follow. My husband to be didn`t want to be at either shower ( we had to hold a seperate shower with his side of the family ) I didn`t force him to go. For your daughter this is a one shot deal there are no repeats so my advice is do whatever you think necessary to make sure she isn`t bothered by any of this and she has a good time. That`s what really matters and what will make her feel as though she`s cared for. Her Husband to be if he doesn`t want to be there don`t make him, he`s only going to bring everyone down and this should be a happy occasion. Things happen during weddings and there is a lot of confusion, and sometimes feelings get hurt but those that truly matter know it wasn`t done with intent and get over it and start focusing on the bride and groom because after all isn`t that who your really doing all of this for?

You should inform your sister that the groom`s mother and the bridal party (especially the MOH) should be invited to every shower. Whether or not they choose to attend every shower is their choice, but they should have been invited. It`s never too late to do the right thing, just call them up and invite them.

I can`t believe that no one thought to invite the MOH, who is the closest person to the bride - usually or the Groom`s mother, who is not only the most important member of the Groom`s family, but also someone who has a big influence in things as far as the Groom is concerned, usually.
It is a beautiful gesture on anyone`s part who chooses to throw a shower. But I can absolutely understand the reluctance of the groom, it`s a joint shower with only the Bride`s family? I am not trying to pass judgement, but in my opinion it is very, very rude.

Would you be offended at all if his Aunt threw them a joint shower and everyone but you was invited?

This is my third try responding on here.My second message was late last night...but I accidently deleted it.This morning I wrote another and I submitted it but it`s not showing up on the message board,so I`ll wait to see if it appears later instead of writing the whole thing out again.
In a nut shell it may be to late now as the showers tomorrow.Sadie

Hello all.I decided to talk to my Sister reguarding the shower tomorrow and that my future S-in-L was concerned.Whether it was an oversight or not ,my Sister said that would be fine with her. Thanks for all your help. Sadie

Ps: Note of interest:My name is not Sadie.Sadie is my dog`s name. Also I am not the Mother like some may have thought...but I am the Father.:-) Matter taken care of.

I`m glad you worked it out and everyone is now invited. I don`t blame the groom at all for being hurt. It`s quite an insult to invite everyone except the parents of the groom.

Back to square one. Although I had talked to my Sister and she had said it was fine to invite the groom to be`s Parents,I then found out when my wife contacted the Parents...that the Parents were told that it was a Family shower after my wife appologied and said it was probably an over-sight.
Turns out, our Daughter had talked to my Sister way back, when the shower plans were getting off the ground about the whole wedding party attending the shower.My Sister told my Daughter at the time that it was just for the Family ...and my Daughter didn`t say anything to me or my wife as she didn`t want to stir up any problems. I was more furious after hearing that!
To make matters worse...was the fact that having a shower was brought up at a big Breakfast on Mother`s Day,after my Wife and I had left. I can understand that all my Brothers and Brother in laws who were there, would not know nay better as they don`t normally go to showers......but with all the Sisters and Sister in Laws there,you would think that some of them/at least one,would know the proper edicate,as they all had showers years ago. Way back then when they all got married, showers were just for the Women.That is the only thing I can assume.
So we`re back to square one,with the shower this afternoon.I think my Sister realizes now she made a big mistake...but the Parents of groom still won`t be there and future Son-in-Law will probably be very quiet.

It`s really too bad as this day and all events leading up to and including the wedding day are meant for THEM...

Ps: If there is ever a baby shower...even though I wouldn`t be going,I will make sure all proper edicate is taken.
Sadie (Father)

We don`t do showers where I come from, though from what I understood - a shower was just an excuse for the girls to get together and have fun?!?! I would of imagine as it is a `bridal` shower it is for anyone/everyone associated with the bride (especially the MoH etc) and NOT just a family thing. I don`t know about these things, but I think I`d have also been offfended if I hadn`t been invited...

Final update.The shower went extremely well.Not a word was spoken about what happened and that was for the best.One thing my wife and I were very proud of...was the way my future Son-in-Law presented himself.He was quiet...but he generaly is at most funtions.We get along fine and I`ll be proud to have him as a Son in law and a part of the Family.
Thanks you all for your great imput.I never thought in my wildest dreams,I`d be writing to a Party Pops forum...but here I am.....and now I`m gone. Future Father in Law Sadie