IM SCARED

It`s perfectly natural to be scared about having sex for the first time, but sex is a part of being married. You have been married for 4-5 months, and you are still a virgin? You do not need your husbands permission to prevent pregnancy, a lot of birth control is in the womans hands. You could go on the pill or have a depo shot, there are sponges and diaphragms, so many options. I would talk to your doctor and find one that is right for you. You need to talk to your husband about your feelings and listen to him about his. He has a valid reason to be upset, but he also needs to realize that pressuring you is not helping the situation. I have a question, why was this topic not brought up prior to your marriage? Something to think about. Just remember, when the time comes, relax, relax, relax. And remember that this is the man that you love.

You can always get one of those ovulation (sp?) kits from the store that tells when you are most likely to get pregnant. I know Most Wal-Greens have them and Wal-mart should too. They are near the Condoms, have you talked to your husband about that? If you know when the time of the month you are most likely to get pregnant you can relax and know you wont get pregnant if you avoid making love at that time. There are also those new patches that you can wear instead of taking birth control pills. I agree, with the other advice given, you should see your GYN and talk to her what is best for you. If your hubby does not want you to take birth control, just use the ovulation kit--it works best if your cycle is normal. Good luck, and dont be scared, you are in love with eachother, and making love is what keeps marriages alive and happy. :) every experience is different, and i am sure your new husband is going to listen to your needs and make sure you are just as happy as he is.

I know it`s none of my business and I may be way off base, but I am a little concerned for this poster. I mean, your husband "won`t allow" you. That is generally not a good sign. I`m worried that you are so recently married and yet he already has (granted based just on this) taken control over you. A good marriage is a partnership, no one should have control over the other. I am only voicing this because I know what it is like to live in an abusive household and it usually is about control and it often starts with the person not allowing the other to do things. First it is one thing, then another, and soon you aren`t allowed to do anything without permission. While I`m hopefully simply jumping the gun in this case, I would like to give one bit of advice, stand up for yourself and if things do go down a troubled path get yourself out of there, the longer you wait, the harder it is. Anyway, all that being said (and I do hope that none of that is the case), I agree with the previous responses, you definitely need to take care of things, if you are not ready for children then you should do what you can to prevent them, go to the doctor and get some form of birth control. If the reason you are not using it is religious then there are lots of books and kits out there that can help you to plan when you make love so you are least likely to become pregnant. That is not a fool proof method, but I`ve heard that if you are generally very regular in regards to your period then it can be a very good form of birth control. Keep in mind though, in order to be as accurate as possible with that method you will need to have records of your periods in the last six months otherwise it may not work very well. I hope that everything works out well for you.

Maybe i wasnt clear he wants a child right away and doesnt want me to use b/c because he wants a kid soon were getting older.. We did it finally and it was great, we did it today and we will keep making love.Thank you for your support. He is not controlling i was upset when i wrote my post, he was patient with me for too long, i was being silly....

You guys didnt cover the sex and kids thing before you got married?

I agree, your husband won`t let you use b/c? He sounds like a control freak. Are you both religious is that why he frowns against b/c? How about a condom? will he wear one? That with spermacide should offer good protection.

You 2 need to reach a compromise somewhere. You should start charting your cycle, that way you`ll know when you ovulate and you can avoid sex around your fertile time. Generally a woman is most fertile right in the middle of her cycle. So if you have your period every 28 days, you probably ovulate around day 14 so sex should be avoided a few days before and after that.

Hope this helps

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! :-) Just be sure that it is truly your decision. No matter how long you are with a guy, no matter how great the commitment, you need to be sure that what you are doing is what you WANT to be doing ... Not that sex isnt something we would all love to be doing ... LOL :-) Take care, good luck!

Ladies sex is so wonderful. I never knew what i was missing.. We have decided we will have a child in the next two years so we can enjoy our married life. I am 32 and he is 44 so that was part of the problem and I used to be a virgin... NOT ANYMORE..thank you again

Your husband doesn`t have to know every move you make. He doesn`t even have to know if you are taking birth control. If you don`t want a child yet he should respect that. It`s your life too. And there`s nothing wrong with not having sex until you`re ready (even if you are married). Until then, just throw him some lotion (if you get my drift) and send him on his way.

He won`t ALLOW you to use birth control? I`d have to reassess that relationship. You should be in charge of your own body. There is no way I would have sex if I weren`t using birth control. It only takes once to become pregnant.

Grow up! your a married woman now not a 16 year old child, if you dont your husband might end up being your ex!