Contribution

The decision on where to be married should have been made by yourself and FH. If you say that for your side of the family is only a few people it would make more sense to get married near his family as more of them would have to travel a greater distance to attend. If your family can afford to contribute funds, that`s wonderful for you. But please do not hold your FH`s family accaountable for that. You say they are saving for his sister`s wedding. I take that to mean they are very worried about having to pay for her event and do not have extra funds around to hand her for her wedding, which is why they have to save up the $$ for their contribution.
Are they contributing to your event in other ways? Helping with arrangements, members offering services, throwing the engagement party or hosting a shower?
Don`t get upset with your new family to be over $$$ already. Save some arguements for when you have children.

Really, you should have sat everyone down at the beginning of the planning so everyone was on the same page and then you would of known exactly what to expect. I no longer believe the old rules apply, about the Brides family being responsible for most of the costs. My husband and I payed for alot of ours. As we are both college grads and had been out working for 2 years. My parents helped us as we went along by buying my dress, tiara, veil, and all accessories. They payed for the flowers, invitations, and many of the "little" things that add up quickly...favors etc. Then they gave us a good amount of cash about two weeks before the Wedding in case we needed it for anything. They then kept track of every penny so they can give my Brother and Sister the same amount when they are ready to get married. My in-laws offered nothing, but also a few weeks before they sent us a check....turns out it was the same amount that they had given my Husbands Brother and sister when they got married. So I certainly don`t agree that your future in-laws are saving for the daughters wedding. It doesn`t seem fair to me. Maybe your FH could approach them and talk to them about this manner. Really he could just sit them down and ask them what they were planning on giving you so you would be able to guage what you need. Good Luck!

It is not up to you or us to decide on what your inlaws contribute to the sisters wedding. Just because I don`t feel that old rules applies doesn`t give me the right to be upset if someone else does believe it applies. They feel they need to sponsor their daughter`s wedding. So what.
I do agree it should have been discussed well before now and your FH should have approached them with any questions or concerns about this matter. Really it is none of your business what they feel they can or will contribute to yours or anyone elses wedding. My in laws are paying for almost the entire wedding. We have picked up things here and there too, but the majority is from them. I have no parents and an Aunt that raised me. She has no $$ to contribute right now and I would not feel offended if when my sister gets married in a few years she gave her $$ because she has it then.
Your budget should have been worked out in advance and you sound very childish and selfish whining about it now.

Disappointed,

I`m am certainly not whinging... As I said, it`s no big deal! I have paid for almostly every aspect of the wedding myself (MYSELF!!) and I`m insulted that you assume I never made a budget - YES, I made a budget - I made MY own!! I have NEVER sought financial assistance nor expected it.

My partner`s family are NOT so skint that they can`t contribute something - especially as the wedding is being held in HIS country not mine and surrounded by almost 200 of HIS family... I am far from selfish - I am trying not to cause `embarrassment` to my FH family. Yes, I feel it is unfair that they are contributing to their daughters wedding and nothing to their son.

I asked how to HANDLE this situation - not for an ATTACK on how I feel about it. YOU seem to be the childish one here - you`re the one with a very immature attitude. Perhaps if you weren`t having your wedding paid by somebody else - you would understand and appreciate my situation.

Sorry, the above post was meant to be for INSULTED...

Hey Maria, this sounds like my situation, but my family are paying for the bulk of our wedding (only cos I dont have immediate access to cash). My partner is from Brazil so I`m getting married there (accompanied with my immediate family and a friend) the rest will be his family and all his friends. Everything is going to be in Portuguese which means I will need it all translating. So you can imagine how complicated my planning has been! My partners parents havent offered anything towards our wedding either. They`ve been great though, dont get me wrong. They`ve been helping us out with alot of the arrangements whilst we`ve been in the UK by putting down deposits to reserve bookings etc. My partner is back in Brazil now, finalising all the details ready for our big day in September and has since repaid the monies his parents have put down as deposits. I know what you mean though, I had sort of expected that they`d declined the return of some of the deposits - but unfortunately no.

The only thing you can do is turn a blind eye, there`s not much you can do. As you said, if they see you and your family making contributions and they still dont offer anything (and it doesn`t matter how small) then they will only embarrass themselves. I would imagine as Recent Bride said they will give you something perhaps at the end? Good luck.

I`m getting married in Sept and my parents haven`t offerred to pay for anything. I am the 8th one to get married and 3rd daughter within a year. I am frustrated because I know they paid for one sister`s entire wedding and offerred to help my other sister but have said nothing to me. My fiance`s family originally offerred to pay for the rehersal dinner but tried to control things by paying so we asked them to just give us a gift of what they would like to give us. I am taking that approach with my parents. I have said nothing and I`m sure they will give me what they can or want to. There is really nothing you can do. His parents know he is getting married and if they chose not to contribute to it ahead of time just thank them for whatever they give you. It`s not worth a fight with him as it is not his fault his parents are that way.

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