Thank You Etiquette

All I did was the typing. She told a list of what each person was being thanked for and sat with me, telling me what she wanted each card to say. My grandfather was there too but he didnt take as much interest. Gran picked the fonts from what I showed her, the colors, the front of the card (I`d bought the cardstock, we designed the rest ourselves) and even little "Trademark" for the back of the card.

Linda,

Depends what you mean by `same printed card`. Yes, each guest got the same `designed` card printed - just as each guest got the same `designed` invitation. This was then each individually personalised on the reverse (on my own printer) according to each gift/guest and once they were all printed, my husband and I signed them all. This took a considerable amount of time and effort to put together regardless of what some people think to printing.

I was a modern bride with modern ideas. I created a contemporary style to go with my contemporary wedding. Though I kept some traditions, I did not want an old fashion wedding. I followed my own idea`s - not one from a book. And I`m sure I speak for most people who have or are contemplating printing their thank-you`s or invitations - that just as much effort (if not more) goes into every aspect of the finished result.

I am sure guests would appreciate any type of thank-you in recognition of his/her gift - the offence here would to say you liked the gift - when you truely loathed it....

I`m curious how you personalized them. Did you type each note individually and print it out? Or did you have a generic note for everyone and "filled in" the names and the gift?

Mary, I don`t think printing thank you notes is a matter of modern vs old fashioned. Nor is it a matter of tradition. Printing your thank yous does not fall into the "modern bride/contemporary wedding" category. The modern and contemporary way to thank guests is still to handwrite thank you notes.

I agree with Linda. It has nothing to do with modern or old fashioned. I think it is really a matter of respect towards your guests. I can understand that it would be more acceptable with an elderly couple`s anniversary party. They are elderly and may not be able to see or write very well. But for a wedding for someone younger, I think it would be rude to print them using a generic template. But to each his own. It is your wedding and your guests. If you don`t think they would be offended then go for it. For myself I will gladly spend the time writing them out personally so that my guests know that I appreciate them and their gifts as much as they appreciated being included in my special day.

We typed each one out seperatly, no form letters, even I would never stoop to a form letter for thank you notes. I just think there shouldnt be anything wrong with typing them when handwritting is not good. For instance with my grandmothers event, she and grandpa both had barely readable handwritting. I was only in town for the one day, and my aunt didnt have time to help.

I think as soon as possible!! Within a three month time frame, at least.

Our wedding was on 6/ 26 , We were on our honeymoon from 6/ 28 till 7/ 3. I just sent them out today 7/6. I had a small wedding but I wanted to get them out right away.

Dd, no I didn`t use a generic note - as I said, each one was individually personalised on the reverse according to each gift/guest which was then printed and signed by both my husband and I.

I think we will have to agree to disagree on this one. Whether people think handwriting is the `correct` thing to do - it DOES NOT mean you respect your guests MORE than I, or that you have put in MORE of an effort then ones that are printed.

I appreciated each and everyone of the gifts my guests had bought and thanked them accordingly in the way I believed was suitable. Regardless of what everyone thinks, my opion was that a `handwritten` note would look tacky. I wanted to follow the same format/theme throughout the whole wedding - which is why I decided to do them my way.... And `print` them!

As I said - I don`t think it`s such a big deal either way, just as long as your guests receive something in recognition of his/her gifts. Perhaps you all should concentrate on how you word them - not how you produce them???

I`m in the process of doing mine now (wedding was 3 wks ago). My brother is a web-designer and produced a website for us - which includes pictures of the wedding and a link to all the thank-you`s. These will be distributed to each guest as a thank you cd/dvd which can be accessed via their TV or computer. I chose not to go with the traditional handwritten cards, but thanked them in this way as I wanted them to have a reminder of the day. Not that there is anything wrong with handwritting them, but it is a kinda old fashion etiquette which I didn`t want to do. I agree with Mary, handwritting thank yous does not mean you appreciate your guests more...

I LOVE the cd idea. That is a wonderful way to thank your guests.
But I still disagree about the respect issue. I do feel it is disrespectful to print everything via PC. Exspecially for those who are more old fashioned or elderly. We still have quite a few years to go before we can throw tradition out the window for convenience for ourselves. In my opinion my guests took their personal time to shop, wrap, and/or carry my gift to me. It will not hurt me to give them a few minutes of my time to thank them.
But I think we have all, myself included, gone way off track of the original question. Whichever method you choose for thanking your guests, 3 months is a decent amount of time to get them into the mail.