Help!

I would ask her what she would like you to do. Also maybe have her help you select a dress. Mother of the Bride job (to me) is to just be there for her and help in any way possible.

Your being there and wondering what you can do to help is wonderful. My mom is helping me out so much and even little things that I didn`t think about, she is talking about.
As a suggestion, pick up a bridal magazine or book that has an outline of things that have to be done and when they have to be done by. If you and your stepdaughter can, sit down and try to set up a time line of things that have to be done. If your step-daughter is anything like I was, she may still be a little starry-eyed from the engagement and is not thinking about photographers, invitations, type and size of wedding. All you can do is ask.
As for what to wear, I think the only "rule" would be not to wear the same colour and style as the bride and bridesmaids. Have fun, go pick out a beautiful dress for yourself! My bridesmaids, mom and I went dress shopping one day and as picky as we all are, dresses were found. It was a great day.
One thing that my mom has planned is the day of the wedding at the salon. Myself and the bridal party, my mother, my soon to be mother in law, aunts and sisters will have the morning at a salon. Everyone is having their hair, make-up and nails done. We will have mamosa`s (champagne and OJ) as well as little snacky things. It will be like a girls day out.
My final comment is, don`t be afraid to ask what you can do and certainly, don`t be afraid to say that you can`t do something. This can be a little stressful for some brides, so offer what help you can and if you are crossing any lines, she will tell you.

Good luck!

Hi Roo,

It`s Heidi again. I was just thinking about something else you could do. My mother offered her wedding headpiece to wear along with my grandmother`s hankerchef (spelling?). It meant alot to me and if you have a sentimental piece from your wedding or a pretty necklace that you could let her borrow for the day, she will probably appreciate it alot.