Can`t Afford A Wedding

You should watch out for sales. My fiance and I saw that the jeweler he got my engagement ring at was having a sale. It was a little early to get the wedding rings, but we thought we might as well get a sale price. We got both bands (white gold) for less than $140.

Also you might think about doing the wedding at a time of day where people won`t expect a dinner. I have been to lovely weddings that were in the morning or afternoon. I have heard that even catered barbeques are really cheap. My fiance`s cousin had a nice morning reception that was just a light lunch (mini quiches, finger sandwiches, cake, etc.) You could do it yourself and buy a lot in bulk at places like at Costco.

Another thing I learned while looking is that the closer the wedding date is the better the deal you can get. Since people schedule these things so far in advance often if a vendor has a free date that is a couple of months away, they don`t expect anyone to fill it. They will usually do stuff for less of a mark-up. For instance when we starting looking in the spring, most places told us we could get a deal if we did it in one of the dates they still had free in the summer or early fall.

We were lucky that a lot of friends volunteered to help. We ended up deciding to do the reception at a restaurant owned by a friend of my dad. Also a friend of ours knows a flower wholesaler that is getting us prices 50% of our previous best offer.

True friends will want to help out and be understanding of what you can afford.

Just tell them, I or we can`t afford it right now. If they all want you to have a wedding so much and are your "friends" maybe they`ll all come together and help you - maybe they`ll surprise you, however, don`t ask for money. As for not wanting to save - please don`t say that, because there are ways to have a small wedding without having to save for years. Just plan well in advance and work with a budget. EVERYONE SHOULD SAVE FOR NOT ONLY THEIR WEDDINGS BUT THEIR FUTURES AS WELL!!!!! Put the wedding off for some time, and save for 6-12 months, this will give you time to establish a budget and research different venues to see what you can afford within your budget. It`s all very do-able - you just have to want to try.
One question, if you can`t afford rings, then have you saved ANYTHING? That is one of the smallest expenses in a wedding, I`m just shocked. Do you work? If you dont` work - you need to be thinking about that first I would think.

When my husband and I wanted to get married, we had no money. He told me he wanted to wait until he could afford a really nice engagment ring to give me. I told him I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, who cares about some flashy ring! We decieded to have a small ceremony in the Boston Gardens on the lake with swans under a weeping willow tree (only 50.00 for the park permit) We invited a few close friends and our parents. We had a maid of honnor and a best man. I bought a beautiful gown for under 100.00 and my husband did the same. I had some flowers and so did the maid of honnor and only 30.00 dollars was spent for that. We went to the jewlers and bought wedding bands on sale for 50.00 each(they were not tacky just simple plain gold bands) After the wedding we went to a nice seafood resturant and had a chocolate mousse cake. We stayed in a really nice hotel for one night and then drove home the next day. Our wedding day was really beautiful and the people closest to us were all that mattered. We have been married for seven years and have a beautiful daughter, plus think of all the money we do not owe for a big wedding and we can enjoy life a little more.

I want to comment on the message Cathy.S posted. The part you wrote about not saving for a ring is just silly! People are so materialistic, as if a diamond ring is going to make a difference. Women that think that way should really evaluate what is really important rather than what it means to have a rock on their finger. And whether these two people have jobs or not is really not your business!

I want to agree with Brianne - I thought Cathy`s comment about the rings showed very little class. And I`d like to say that the price of rings out there is not one of the smallest expenses of the wedding. We just bought ours and we bought solid white gold bands (no frills) and still spent $400... As for some constructive advice for planning a wedding on a very small budget, how about finding a small church in your area and inviting everyone to the ceremony and then having a picnic at the park? Usually, the smaller churches are very inexpensive (ours was only $100 including the organist) and because the church is smaller, a shorter guest list doesn`t seem awkward. Just an idea.

Hi everyone~ You should be focusing on you and your future husband, and not so much what others will think. Weddings can be expensive, if you want them to be. They also can be whatever you want them to be. Why not try a backyard ceremony, or in a park setting as suggested. If your friends are so consumed with what kind of wedding you should have, why not let them help you create your day. Ask a friend to video the wedding, take pictures. Also as previously suggested why not have a brunch wedding. Guests would not expect a meal, and this will save on the catering. I am a wedding coordinator and how found to work with budgest ranging from a little under $5,000 to $30,000. And a smaller budget can be just as beautiful as the higher budgeted wedding. You can have your friends help making center pieces, favors, etc. If you check with local colleges there may be some "new" photographers, dj`s, videographers, who are just starting out and will not charge as a professional would. Decide on a budget and stick to it. You can print invitations online now. If you have any questions, you can email me. I am a planner, but my advice to you is free. As for the rings, why not exchange an inexpensive ring (some jewlers have simple bands starting at $40). Then for your first anniverssary opt to purchase new bands.

None of you are thinking. LRB, I am far from materialistic, I said it was the smallest expense, that can mean $40 or $50 like a couple of women had posted above. And Brianne, who said anything about diamonds!?!?? I think you are thinking materialistically in turn assuming everyone else is too. You don`t need an engagement ring (or diamonds!) - that doesn`t represent the union, the wedding bands and your love do - and again, the rings are one of the smallest expenses. Wow, you are all just looking for reasons to bash people. And yes a job does play a big part in this whole process, in order to afford even the smallest wedding, you have to have money....from what I remember, the orignial posting by Lori states that she they don`t even have money for rings, hmmmm.......

So, am I classless or are those whom are trying to rip on me?

I`d like to add that I didn`t call you materialistic, whether it`s true or not - I wouldn`t know and wouldn`t venture to make such an evaluation... I would, however, comment that you should perhaps read more closely before answering messages.

So I mixed up the letters and names.....
You were, however, quick to judge and say that I was classless, because YOU did not read my post closely either - please don`t point fingers, you were wrong to make THAT evaluation.
I apologize for confusing the names, but realize your own mistakes too.

HEY THE COURT HOUSE IS ONLY 85.00. ITS NOT ABOUT THE WEDDING ITS ABOUT THE LOVE. IF YOU DONT HAVE MONEY DONT HAVE A WEDDING!

I read your letter. I have an idea! you can have sponsors for everything and i mean everyhting! aks if your friends and family would like to sponsor, for instance, the bouquet. Which is a nice polite way of asking for them to pay for it! Also, i have a website that has really pretty tiaras & shoes for a great price and look expensive! I have lots of other websites if you need any help let me know! My husband and i are planning to renew our vows, i want to have another big celebration! good luck!

Hi, there are a million and one ways of having a wedding on a budget.

First get some idea`s from wedding mags/books which you could borrow from a library. Get an idea of the type of wedding you want - anything is possible. I`ve got my heart set on the pefect wedding (and what is regarded as `perfect` is different to everyone). I am fortunate to have my family assisting financially - but that is not to say they can afford it either and their budget can also only stretch so far. I intend to contribute as much as I can - after all if I want it than I shall have to pay for it... True??

After deciding on the type of wedding I wanted, I made a list of everything I would need to make it perfect. I then crossed off things that were not essential and started to note the things I could improvise on. Things like invitation cards : I bought blank note cards and printed the inserts myself, thus giving it a more personalised touch. My engagement ring was chosen from my mothers collection (the cost being a professional clean) - incidently, the wedding rings are more important than the engagement ring - you could go for that `diamond` ring when you both can afford it. Look for your rings in a sale or from a second hand shop (or borrow two for the wedding ceremony). I know several married couples who don`t wear rings - everyone is different...

You don`t need to wear a designer bridal gown - these you can pick up second hand or hire. Maybe you have a white suit or dress that you can customise?? I can`t afford the shoes so will be wearing my trainers (after all no-one can see my feet under my dress - unles of course I fall over!!!)

I`m having a church wedding, but instead of the formal wedding breakfast that follows (which I think can be rather boring) - I have opted to get married in the afternoon followed by a buffet reception (bbq style). This could be done at home (space permitting).

I suggested to guests wishing to buy us gifts to contribute to our wedding fund (not everyone approves of this appproach as you will read in the message thread : `Poems asking for money`), but times have changed and everyone`s situation is different. I am getting married in Brazil so will have a combination honeymoon. Some holiday destinations do wedding packages (ideal if you want a simple, private ceremony).

Here in England the average cost of a wedding is £15K, but you can actually do it for as little as £62.50 at a registry office without the frills. Just remember - your wedding is your `special` day so do all that you can to achieve it. Make, borrow and improvise. You will be pleasantly surprised what you can do with a little help.

Good luck.

PS: keep buying those lottery tickets (you just never know....)

I`m a wedding planner, so I`ll try to offer the best advice possible. The most important thing at the wedding is someone to perform it, which will run you anywhere from 50-100 dollars. Next you`ll need outfits... Which you can get for as low as 100 dollars (your dress) at many bridal boutiques or a 2nd handstore. David`s bridal usually has a 99 dollar sale. His tuz can be rented for as low as 100 bucks too. Next you`ll need flowers, you can do a small bouquet yourself, and make him a boutineer for about 30 bucks. There`s your ceremony costs.
Reception is a different story, now the way you`re talking you want all your friends to be happy, so... Have them pay for it. Rather than asking for gifts, ask for a 30pp donation... This should help cover costs on catering. As far as a bar goes, have one of your man`s buddies do this as a wedding gift. All you`ll need is a small facility to house the event and you`ll be set.

Ashley, I`m sorry, but you have got to be kidding.... Hinting at money gifts on an invitation is tacky enough, but charging people to attend your wedding????? Why not make it $35 per person, then you could even make money! Its almost as bad as asking someone to pay the bar tab for your wedding gift, on top of the `entrance` cost..... Maybe I`m the only one with this opinion, but if i recieved an invitation like this I would throw it out and not go.

You should have whatever type of wedding you can afford, and not worry about what other people think. Its not your job to feed them on your wedding day! They are supposed to attend your wedding to be supportive for you, as a friend. Not to get free booze and food. So, don`t worry about it!

My fiance are in your position. Here are some of the things Im doing to save money.
#1 our wedding is in my fathers garden so thats free and since it is in a garden we dont need extra flowers or decorations
#2 We are having a BBq and pot luck
#3 My friend is making my dress for me so the only expense is the fabric and might I add you can find beautiful fabric for under $100
#4 We cant afford expensive rings so we (may sound tacky but it works) found plain white gold bands at Wallmart for only $40 for the pair and I love them!
#5 for favors I spent $22 for needlepoint set that I have made 40 gifts .
Good luck and dont give up. Just remember that this a day to for you to show your love and thats what is important

Hi..you received a lot of good ideas and advice (I don`t know what all those personal attacks were about...shades of Jerry Springer I guess). Anyway, I am the m-o-b. My daughter is getting married next May. Forunately, for HER, her dad and I are helping her..but we are both retiring this year and are on a budget. We told our daughter we would give her a certain dollar amt. And the rest is up to her and her fiance and his family. Here are some suggestions...remember, this wedding is really about YOU and your FIANCE, not everybody else and what they think. But you do want to be politically and socially correct in every decision you make. Shop around, prioritize, use the web, buy a good planning on a budget book, don`t run up charges you can`t afford, ask vendors if they will give you a discount if you include their names on the back of a church program, do price comparisons, make a budget and stick to it. Let vendors know UP FRONT what you can pay, and how and when. Shop at consignments shops, ask people you know to be videographer, baker, server, etc. Be creative...and good luck to you.

Hi,
Have you ever thought about calling one of those shows, like on TLC that lets your family / friends decide your wedding, and where it is going to be? That might be a good idea since I think they pay for your wedding, you just have to share it with the rest of america....just a thought! and I do love some of the ideas of the other comments. You could also elope, (which a lot of people do these days) and then just have a little gathering at your home for all your friends and family. Get a sheet cake at Costco, those are cheap and feed lots of people. If your friends love you for you, they wont care! They will just be happy for you and happy that you got married, and if they say anything, were they really friends to begin with? Like other people have said, this day is for YOU and your future Husband, and your not out to please anyone but yourself. And hey! you can always re-new your vows infront of everyone in 5-10 years when you do have money. :) Take Care!

You can have a private ceremony. Get married in a church, or someplace free of charge or low budget. Then at a later date, you guys can have a small reception and invite family and close friends. Do you know how to cook? Or have family and friends that cook? Have family cater the reception and find a nice reasonable place that you can rent. It`s your wedding and the main thing is for two to become one.

Your friends will be okay. You have to do what`s best for you and your man.