Overreacting?

Yes, I think you are overreacting. What is the big deal? You should be happy for your friend but instead you’re sad for yourself. Is that what kind of friend you want to be? Look at all the positive things, you two can help each other find bargains and plan. Besides she is a friend not a family member so you will have your family along with your fiancé’s family and she will have her family and her fiances family at her wedding. Yes you both may have mutual friends but for the most part I don’t see a problem unless the mutual friends are invited to be in both weddings but even then their will only be a problem if money becomes an issue. If that becomes the case don’t risk a friendship over one day try to make compromises and find dresses where they can afford to be apart of both your day and your friends.

Jami, I`m sorry but Jessica’s advise sounds to me like the kind of conversation that could really hurt a friendship or lead to hurt feelings at least. She might not think of it as helpful offering to help if she changes her date. Obviously for her the dates being in the same summer are not a problem so why should she be the one to change her date. If you feel the dates are too close maybe you should be the one to opt for a later or earlier date.

I appologize if I sounded as is I was suggesting that you offer to help only if the friend changes her date. I really didn`t realize that it sounded that way. But Nodia does have a really good point. Maybe you should offer to move your date back so that both of you can help each other without the additional stress of planning your own wedding.

I would pose this question to you -- why does it bother you if she gets married before you? Just a question to think about......I`m not being judgmental.

Personally, I think you`re overreacting. However, when planning a wedding any little thing can seem like a huge deal (been there done that). Stop and ask yourself why you think she`s `stealing your thunder.` Are you afraid that some of the attention your friends are shedding on you will be diverted to her? Are you afraid the spotlight will be taken off your wedding? Just things to think about....

Remember though, she`s your friend and your MOH - that friendship must be strong. Do you really want to say or do something to jeapordize that?

Best wishes to you both!

Thanks for all of the advise...but my MOH is my sister-in-law to be. Families will be expected to attend both weddings...less than 3 months apart. I have been planning my wedding for awhile, and i feel that my wedding will be put on hold because of hers.

We will be competing with planning bridal showers, bacelorette parties, etc.

I think it will indeed be difficult with both weddings in the same family just 10 weeks apart..it`s a lot of expense, plus out of town relatives may not be able to attend both..the initial impetus will be geared toward the first wedding with yours "bringing up the rear` so to speak. I think I would be a bit put out by it too...why did she feel the need to rush and beat you out of the gate? Are these weddings taking place in the distant future??? If so and not too many things have been booked move your date up ahead of hers ;0)
On the bright side..you`ll be able to sit back and see what works and what doesn`t at her wedding..(kind of like going last on Fear Factor LOL)!

We have been planning our wedding for a couple of months now...and all of the arrangements have been made...and deposits have been sent...there`s no way to change it.

I`m feel that she is rushing her wedding before mine, so she wont "bring up the rear" as you called it.

I`m worried that she will take all of my ideas that i discussed with her and my wedding will look like a duplicate of hers.

Well darn it! Has she said anything to you about this? It`s just is a little strange, maybe I am too sensitive but I think it`s not very nice. I am sorry you have to deal with this..I would keep my ideas to myself from here on out if you don`t want to see them duplicated (would she REALLy do that??) It`s too bad because an MOH is supposed to be helping you and sharing all the fun with you. I guess you`ll just have to make the best of it, there`s nothing else to do!

What thunder is she stealing from you? You aren`t a celebrity, are you? You are just getting married. Get over yourself.

I don`t think that she needs to "get over herself" at all. I think that it was very unthoughtful for your maid of honor to plan a wedding so close to yours when you are part of the same family. Something similar, but not nearly as bad has happenned to me, and it is not in the least bit fun. Because there are so many relatives in my case coming from far away, I am sure that they will only attend one of the weddings, and it may not be mine. It really sucks. I feel very bad for you. I guess that it isn`t the end of the world, but sometimes weddings don`t bring out the best in people. I understand that you need to take many things into consideration when picking a wedding date, but I think that if your friend found it necessary to get married around the same time as you, it would have been much more appropriate for her to get married after you.

You guys are awesome!! Thanks for all of the advice and sympathy! :)

By the way...Dont be such a BITCH Lisa....

What a hard situation - I don`t envy you... And I thought dealing with some of my mini-crises have been hard! haha. Just wondering, if you two are good friends and it is still a quasi-family member, could you have a combined wedding? I know not a lot of people do them anymore, but maybe that way you both get to have your special day with all the family in attendance and without having major damage to the friendship?

Stealing your thunder, duplicating your ideas. Just listen to yourself are you sure this person is your friend? Or that you are her friend I should say! It sound to me like you two have other issues you need to work out. It’s very important to remember you have to be a friend to have one and from the statements made here it does not sound as though you two have a great friendship. I know you have made deposits but dates can still be changed most of the time. Have you contacted anyone to see if that was an option or are you dead set on being FIRST?

It’s not so much as being first. I don’t see what sense it makes to have our families come to two weddings within 3 months of each other. A wedding is financially a lot to ask of people…there are bridal shower gifts, along with the wedding gift. She should realize this, and move her wedding to a reasonable time away from mine….either before or after.

I guess i just dont understand the rush to squeze her wedding in before mine.