RE: Asking For Money Without Being Rude In A

Ah man! this kind of post keeps coming back to haunt! It`s been mentioned a million times, that it is tacky and rude to include such a poem asking for money instead of gifts. There is NO polite way to ask. The only thing you can do is tell your closest friends and family and hope they spread the word about your preference for cash. My fiance and I both live together and brought 2 of everything into the home we share now! We have our own home and are getting married 7/16/05 and I know our familiy and friends realize how much stuff we already have, but you know what? I wouldn`t mind getting new stuff at the wedding, besides, I love presents and I love opening them! If you get duplicates, return them and exchange them for something you really need. Good luck on your poem though! I`m sure you`ll get a lot of laughs! They`ll think it`s a joke if you ask me.

I agree that you shouldn`t write in on the invites. But my fiance and I already have everything we need and would prefer just money. I recently received an invite to a shower with nothing but the date, time and location...they didn`t register for anything so it is just assumed that they want money. This is probably what we will do too. Just have your family and friends spread the word that it`s a greenback shower (I don`t know where you`re located or if you`ve heard of the term but it`s common where I am and means the couple only needs money to help pay for the wedding or honeymoon). Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

It is amazing how people actually sit around trying to find creative or "cute" ways to ask for money. There is none. It is never okay to ask for money, and no matter how you do it, it will not be cute or funny to guests. It will be tacky and look like you were not taught that you don`t do this. I would regret it years from now that I was actually stupid enough to print this on paper, which would mean I could not deny I had no class. I can`t believe there are people who think this is okay. Read any etiquette book on marriage and you`ll find it`s not my personal opinion only, it`s etiquette. If you need money, work a 2nd job or take out a loan, but don`t ask others for it. It will look like you`re not ready for marriage, but more in need of a debt counselor than a minister, too.

JUST GET A BIG CARDBOARD SIGN AND GO STAND ON A STREET CORNER.

DO WHAT PANHANDLERS DO AND BE HONEST!!!

I agree with the other brides a poem would be in bad taste. My suggestion would be not to register and to get the word out to as many of your close family and friends as possible and the word will get around. Just as an after thought you will still get some gifts and sometimes things you wouldn’t think to buy for yourself are the things you appreciate most.

I actually did need a lot of the wedding gifts I received. Maybe I am in the minority, but I appreciated what people gave me, for the most part.

JUST TOO TOO TACKY !! A GIFT IS A GIFT !! TO ASK FOR MONEY IN A POEM FORM OR IN ANY FORM IS NOT THE COOL THING TO DO !! LOIS

I was talking to a close friend yesterday, who said that if i put her in charge of the gift list thing, and made her the contact for it.. Then when people contact her to find out what they should get me, she could say " Oh, actually all the gifts the`ve asked for have been bought, but i do know they could really use some spending money on their honeymoon... To put towards a house depsost.. Etc etc... "

Coz that way, it`s not you asking for money... And your guests know exactly what they`re giving towards... Something you would like.. To fulfill a bigger goal than just a new electric blanket.

I thought it was a good idea.

Sorry Gret, your suggestion is kind of "tacky" also. What`s the difference between putting some dumb poem in your invitations or setting up basically a "gift hotline" for yourself???? For our wedding, we are not even "expecting" gifts! The purpose of having a wedding is to have friends and relatives "CELEBRATE" your marriage! We love our friends and relatives and know that any "small or huge" wedding gift will be received with love! It`s so presumptious to think that you even deserve gifts, money, etc.... I`m sure you`ll get cash gifts, but why outright ask for them!!!!!

WHOA!!!! cat fight? Trish I have heard a poem that nicely suggest that people deposit money into an already established account for the bride and groom. I dont think that its tacky. And many people choose this less time consuming, effortless gift. I think that you should do what YOU think in right for YOUR wedding. I will have to get the info from a friend of mine but you can e-mail me and ill send it to you. E-mail me @ modern_isis@hotmail.com. I think people on here are getting a bit OUTRAGEOUS. YOUR wedding is just that....YOURS and whatever you feel will be acceptable should be done. WHO CARES what people think..they didn`t help you pay for it and they are probably only coming to criticize you anyway. So everyone needs to CALM DOWN. It shouldnt matter to you what someone wants at THEIR wedding. Its not like if one person gets a sponsor that YOUR wedding will not be beautiful. Thats just what that person decided to do. CALM DOWN!!!!!!!

Alrighty then Nidra! So now people actually are setting up accounts for deposit of wedding "cash gifts"!!!! I have an idea, I have direct deposit at my workplace, I assume a lot of you do, why don`t we all put our account numbers on the invitation along with a deposit slip and have them deposit any wedding gift cash there!!!!!!

TACKY IS TACKY STAYS!!!! My fiance and I are paying for everything ourselves! I don`t feel that our friends and relatives are supposed to reinburse us for what they ate and drink! Apparently some of you do!

It has nothing to do with reimbursement. Why would she accumulate all of these household items when she already has a household set up. That is just practical for people to give monetary gifts. WHOOPDEEDOO you and your fiancee are paying for everything thats good. BUT i dont think that you or anyone else on partypop has the right or audacity to tell someone else what they should do at their wedding. Is her aksing for deposits into an account going to make or break YOUR wedding. I think the objective of partypop is to help fellow brides not criticise them for their ideas or inquiries. If you dont agree state that plainly and keep a moving. The bottom line is that YOUR wedding is not going to be influenced by HER decision to have an account set up. So whats with the criticism? you do things your way and she does things her way. I just dont get it.

I think your wedding should be a reflection of you and in HER case it just makes sense to do it that way. If she doesn`t she gonna get 5 woks, 10 set of glassess, blenders, toaster, griddle, towels and all sorts of stuff that she already has because of her established household. I think money is always easier to give as a gift that way people exactly what they want. If they dont wanna make a deposit then let them buy a toaster and have her take back 12 toasters the day after her wedding. Shes gonna end up with the money anyway if you think about it. It is a lot more simple and and less time consuming.

I figured you`d say something crazy Nidra. I am proud that my fiance and I are able to pay for our wedding! We`ve both been working our butts off to pay for it! I can tell by your post that you are a very materialistic person. Gifts and money are the last thing on my mind! What are the chances that you`ll get 12 toasters or however many woks, etc....? I`ve been to many weddings where people don`t even give household items anymore, they give giftcards or gift certificates. In that case you can buy what you want, but I stand on MY OPINION! Be thankful for what you get! Stop being so materialistic!!!! It`s a day to be happy and share with your friends and relatives, I bet you`ll be one of those brides that open envelopes at your reception! Just to see how much money you can take for your honeymoon!!! DORK!!!!!!!!

I think that you all keep forgetting that there is a better solution than asking in a poem for cash. You just don`t register. Your guests will take the hint. If they don`t, they would not have sent cash anyway. Besides that, if they know you at all, they will know that you are already established.

IS THE NAME CALLING REALLY NECESSARY. IM JUST BEING PRACTICAL. I AM A PROFESSIONAL CLASSY WOMAN AND I DONT RESPOND TO IGNORANCE LIKE THAT, ADRINA. GROW UP

If I`m not mistaken Nidra that was a response!!!

Does anyone have a poem then lol??

Hi there me and my partner are to paying for our own wedding and being realistic people want to by gifts (well my family do!) we are saving every penny for the big day with not much more to spare, we to already live together so dont need 6 toasters but instead of asking for money( most people know lol) we have asked for travell vouchers towards the honeymoon. People appreciate knowing what it is going to also they will be more likely to give money knowing they are sending you on the trip of a lifetime. Have a wounderfull day. X

OK OK!!!!!!!! Lets not get our hormones all simmered up. LOL. Listen I think we all know that asking for money is tacky and dispicable. Whomever said your wedding day is a reflection of you hit the nail on the head. Lets just go on about our lives and let these money hungry bridezillas write there handout sonnets and count the cash. Obviously tackyness is a reflection of who they are. Someday they will realize what theday is all about and if not I pray for their marraiges. Hey they have one thing going for them, at least they arent asking us for money like some of these degenerates on here. Whatever let the families of these people worry about them being rude. If you dont need anything, dont register. This isnt a pyramid scam your running its a freakin wedding. Just be glad they cared enough to show up to support you, some of us wont even have that. Now stop the freakin fighting. We will all soon have a wonderful man to fight with for the rest of our lives and thats what its all about.