Wedding Shower

Go for the shower! I think that every woman deserves to be "showered" for a special occasion, be it your first or fifth. (That goes for baby showers to!) There is no reason that you should not have the opportunity to gather with your family and friends to celebrate!

It`s not out of line to be given a shower on a second marriage. It`s out of line for your sister to give it. Moms and siblings of the bride are not supposed to give the shower.

Well Jessica&Joe what if your sister is your maid of honor? Isn`t it the moh`s job to throw your bridal shower?
I am not being rude, it`s just that I find it so amusing that people think it`s wrong for the mob, mog, and siblings to throw bridal showers for the bride. Crazy!! These are the people closest to the bride, and in some cases groom, they should be able to throw a shower without being condemned by the overbearing etiquette police!
In my opinion, I don`t think that`s bad etiquette at all. Infact, I`d be inclined to say it would be more tactless to decline an offer of a shower from a loved one!

You have all been a big help with this confusing situation. The last thing I need right now is more stress!!!! And that is what my oldest sister is giving me. Maybe she thinks the way she does because she is "old school" but I/we want to enjoy every part of our plans but I wouldn`t want to do anything that would be out of line. Everyone I`ve talked to agrees with all of you! Thanks!

Well etiquette person whoever you are, them being the closest to the bride and groom is exactly the reason why they aren`t supposed to give it. I`m not etiquette police or anything, I was just telling what I know. If you think it`s so crazy then maybe you should find out WHY it`s not done before you get all huffy about it. You shouldn`t be so quick to jump on me for condeming anyone, I wasn`t trying to be mean to anyone.

Do what u want sweetie, and enjoy it, remember its your second chance so have fun with everything

Just wondering...what`s the rule about the people closest to the bride and groom not giving the shower? Where does this information come from?
I`ve really never heard of such a thing. I can understand if the mom wouldn`t. She should be honored along with the bride...but siblings....interesting. Just wanted to know, not trying to ruffle any feathers.
Cece

It is true, most etiquette sites will tell you family members should not be the host of the shower. An exception is made if siblings are in the Wedding party.
This is so because the whole purpose of a shower is to "Shower the couple with gifts" and this is seen as self serving if the MOB hosts the shower. I have known many families though that help the MOH or bridal party with the cost of the shower and certainly help with the planning but their names are not included in the invitation. Hope this helps!

I was always told that too, sisters and mothers or very close family members don`t throw showers. My sister is my maid of honor. All the bridesmaids are throwing my shower so the invitations say "Given by the bridesmaids". That way my sister is included as one of the bridesmaids, but there are 4 non sisters who are hosting the shower too. That`s fine I think. But for your sister or mother to give the shower themselves isn`t usually looked upon as okay to do.

I am a final exam away from being a certified wedding consultant and I can say that showers originated as small, intimate parties given by FAMILY or friends to "shower" the bride-to-be with gifts. Remember, a shower is supposed to be a small gathering of friends to wish the bride well. It never should be seen as an opportunity to collect more presents. The female members of both families, female attendants (including jr bridesmaids), and close friends of the bride are usually invited to the bridal shower
Immediate family members (mothers, grandmothers, or sisters of the bride or groom) shouldn`t host showers, since it would be interpreted as an improper way to attempt to obtain gifts. Instead, aunts, cousins, or close friends should host the event, or the bridal attendants may want to collaborate to finance the shower. However, if the bride is new to the area and has few friends and no relatives nearby, it is acceptable for the groom`s family to host a shower.
If a shower has a theme, it will often set the mood for both decoration and gifts. Many bride and grooms are now olders, already established in professions, and may even have been living together for sometime. For this reason, the couple may not need many traditional household items. Although traditional kitchen, linen, and lingerie showers are still popular, they are being joined by many other themes, including travel, gardening, barbecue, sports, or hobbies.
Note: it is never polite to ask for gifts or cash on the invitation. However, a hostess may indicate the shower`s theme on the invite (if there is a theme) and about colors and sizes. They guest may then choose what to do with the information.

I think it`s different depending on location. Both my parents and my fiances parents are hosting our shower. This is normal for where we live. And it`s a jack and jill shower where both guys and girls are invited...also very common here. I`ve heard of it done many different ways. It can be whatever you want. Don`t stress about it :)

That is what I think as well. But my personal beliefs and thoughts cannot interfer with the way I conduct a business. I was just quoting what came out of my book.

Great, a vendor who can`t spell or use proper grammar and punctuation. That business just looks so unprofessional. I`d love to see what his contracts look like though!

I say to hell with "Etiquette" do what you feel. We don’t worry about living our lives according to etiquette standards on any other day so why on a day so important will you let etiquette dictate.

Besides etiquette might say this but most of the bridal books I’ve read say “OUT THE DOOR WITH TRADITION” make it your day.

Nodia, tradition and etiquette are two different things. And by the way, you do use etiquette in your daily life all day long. Not only do you use it every day, but I`m sure you`ll expect your guests to use it at your wedding. So why such an aversion to social standards for yourself on your wedding?

Linda

You have not used ETTIQUETE or even GOOD TASTE in an any of your post so far. I for one find it hard to believe you use it in your day to day life. Get a grip….This coming from the woman that called a perfect strangers child a bastard. What a joke…

Please don`t associate me with the person who left those messages. I am a different Linda. Believe it or not, it`s a common name. Yes, I`ve seen some of those awful messages and I`m very sorry that she said those things, but please don`t take it out on me.

Thanks,

Add me to the side that thinks it`s inappropriate for the sister of a bride to host her shower. It`s pretty common knowledge as far as I knew. I`m in the United States, maybe you all are in another country where it is acceptable?

Hi Karen,
I say go for the shower! Have a great time. Every bride deserves a shower. If it is her first or her fifth.

My daughter is giving me away, and I am not having a MOH, so does that mean that I can not have a shower given for me? I think not. Where I am from the Mother of the Bride often gives a bridal shower.

Good Luck and enjoy your shower and wedding
Sandie