Help! I`m A Heathen!

I am not a member of any church, but my fiance and I want to have a church wedding. We have picked out a church that we would like to have our wedding at, but we are so embarrased to just show up and say "Hi, we would like to have our wedding here, but we have never even stepped foot in this church before!" We are runnung out of time, and we need to decide something. What should I do?
Posted by Trennette Conway; updated 06/01/04

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Agnesflack, a lot of churches don`t provide a "pretty backdrop". Just my two cents. I found that a lot of the churches I visited were big and empty looking, and cold. I didn`t want that. We found a beautiful old historic mansion with lots of antiques that we decided to get married in. The only churches I felt were really beautiful were some of the Catholic churches with all their stained glass windows....but we aren`t Catholic.
Posted by Missy; updated 06/01/04

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Well, the only way to go about it is ask. You can call instead of going in person, because they either will or will not allow non-members to be married there. You may have to go through pre-marital counceling with the pastor, so I hope you are the same religion as the church you want to be married in. If you aren`t the same religion, you should really examine why it is you want your wedding there in the first place. Don`t delay calling. I`m getting married in a church that isn`t "mine" because our church is, honestly, ugly. It was VERY difficult to find a pastor willing to let us use the church, even though we were bringing our own pastor, were Christian, etc. You`d think we were proposing a Wiccan handfasting or something instead of just being of a different denomination (and I`m not even talking about crossing the catholic-protestant divide... I hope you aren`t trying to get into a Catholic church, because good luck if you are!).
Posted by Robin; updated 06/02/04

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Stay away from the Catholics!! We`re both Catholic but don`t belong to a church. And we had such a hard time with them. First several wouldn`t return my phone calls...then one nun wanted to know what our income was before we joined!! I couldn`t believe that! I guess if I was a 13 year old boy they would of allowed me to join!! Sorry if I offended anyone...but it was HELL dealing with them.
Anyway, we found a beautiful low key church that accepts everyone of different religious backgrounds.
Just pick up the phone and call around. Some churches will also let you wed without becoming members...you just may have to pay a higher fee to use their facility.
Posted by Dawn; updated 06/11/04

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Where I live they have congregational churches where, as long as you believe certain basic principles, they`ll marry you. The church I`m naming specifically is Coral Gables Congregational Church. It has as nice a backdrop as the catholic church with less hassle. Methodist churches also have a nice backdrop. I`m getting married soon, and I rented a banquet hall that has a "chapel". I hired a pastor, and specifically told them I wasn`t going to church. Remember, unfortunately, as long as you pay them, most won`t be too reluctant. Most importantly, go with your gut instinct. It`s usually right. Good Luck!!
Posted by Dulce; updated 06/16/04

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Hi there.
I`m having a christian wedding, but there is no way my fiance and I want to get married in a church. Both of us have a strong spiritual life, but we love being outside near the water, and that`s what we`re doing.

If you want a religious ceremony there are a lot of pastors from more contemporary churches who will marry you.. But if you want the wedding in a Church, you might have to look for one of the smaller churches and hire the hall off them for the day.
Posted by Gret; updated 06/16/04

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I live in Texas but want to get married in ohio all my freinds are from around there. I am catholic my fiance is christian and we want to get married in a church. Niether of us are wanted to convert to the other religion and would like to get married non denomination there are no churches in the area that are unitarian. It is my old home town and I want to get married there. Any ideas.
Posted by Brandi; updated 09/20/05

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I know the church I go to is free whither your a member or not. That is what the church is for. The pastor likes to meet with you a few times before. All they ask for is a donation for the person cleaning up. So call around you never know.
Posted by Jeanette; updated 09/25/05