Sharing Info On Monetary Gifts
Can anyone enlighten me on who, if anyone, you shared/plan on sharing info with regarding amounts of monetary gifts you receive at your wedding? I`m familiar with the practice of "gift opening parties" after the wedding, but my husband and I chose to open our gifts in private. Later my mom asked to see them, so I showed her the china, crystal, etc. - no big deal. But now she`s asking what the amounts were of monetary gifts from different people - with the excuse that she wants to know how generous she should be with different family members/friends when it comes time to reciprocate. Is it standard practice at gift opening parties that everyone learns the monetary amounts of gifts from different people? Is it standard practice to tell family members how much you receive from people, or is this normally kept private between a bride and groom?
Posted by mary; updated 05/25/04
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I think that is nobody`s business but the bride and groom what gifts they received. We will not be announcing that to anyone.
Posted by Carri; updated 05/25/04
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It is never appropriate to discuss the amounts of monetary gifts. Also, the person who gives the money should not discuss with others how much money he/she gave. Personally, I`ve seen some really negative outcomes from open discussion of the monetary amounts of gifts. It can also lead to jealousy and hard feelings amongst family members. Just say "So and so gave us a cash gift" and leave it at that. If they keep asking, just say its "personal", but that it was a generous gift and you appreciate it.
Posted by Missy; updated 05/25/04
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I think that gift openings are great when they include immediate family and attendants, but I believe that the cards (which would probably contain money) should be opened privately. If someone would ask, I would also say that it is private. I will be having a gift opening, but it will probably be a brunch so that they out-of-towns guests can come and eat before they leave for home.
Posted by Dawn; updated 05/25/04
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By the way, I myself had a horrible experience when I got married, due to a monetary gift we received. A relative gave a generous amount of money to my husband and I. It wasn`t something we asked for, or expected, but we graciously accepted it. However, this same relative went around telling others how much he gave to us, and some of my friends and family starting attacking me & my husband as being "greedy" and made all sorts of accusations. Also my sister got jealous about the money. It was just a horrible experience. Money amounts should be kept private, period. Always.
Posted by Missy; updated 05/25/04
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I am studying to be a bridal consultant and in the book it also states that the amount should be kept private, When showing gifts, only the signature should show. I personally think it would be difficult to show the gracious donator without showing the donation.
Wow, to have the donator spread the gossip! But I can`t believe your friends and family would say anything about you being greedy, it isn`t your fault that this relative gave so generously. They should just be happy for you!
Sorry ladies, having spelling issues today
Posted by brandy; updated 05/25/04
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I wish they had been happy for me, too. But money can be a troublesome thing. That`s why I want to warn other brides about keeping it quiet. I wouldn`t want anyone to go through what I went through.
Posted by Missy; updated 05/25/04
